Ozzy Osbourne Pics of Ozzy Osbourne With His Family

"An intellectually sound, serene and tranquil private, the sort of human I would exist sure to respect. It is only unfortunate that those three qualities have been destroyed by alcohol, drug apply and bat's blood."

~Immanuel Kant on Ozzy Osbourne

"What'due south this? A fucking red Grand&M in my M&M bowl? That's information technology, I'grand non going on stage tonight!"

~Ozzy Osbourne on why the show got cancelled

"Where'southward the remote control. Dammit Sharon, I've stepped in dog shit again!"

~Ozzy Osbourne on life in the doghouse

"SHAAAAROOOOOOOONNNNN!!!!!"

~Last words of Ozzy Osbourne

John Michael "Ozzy" Osbourne (born iii December 1948), also known as "that mumbling vampire thing", is a Brummie from Birmingham who is believed to be made out of metal.

1 The Early Life and times of JM Osbourne
- 1.1 Pirates and Prison house
two Music and Ozzy Osbourne
- ii.1 On Becoming Black Sabbath
  - 2.1.1 The Showtime Two Albums
  - 2.one.2 Cocaine and the Rest of the Albums
- two.2 Solo Career
  - ii.2.1 The Blizzard of Ozz
    - 2.2.1.1 Bible of a Madman
  - 2.two.two Post Blizzard Era
3 Personal Life
- three.one Children
- 3.2 Wives
  - 3.2.one Move Along Thelma
  - iii.2.2 Welcome to the Sharona Feel
    - 3.2.2.1 Sharona'southward Books
4 Legacy

The Early Life and times of JM Osbourne [edit]

Chip off the old block: Ozzy'south father Jack

On December third, 1948, the rock/metal legend John Michael (aka "Ozzy") Osbourne was built-in. His childhood memories are non unusual ~ setting his sister on fire, hanging himself with clothesline just to run across what it felt like, fantasizing he was killing his mother then masturbating for three hours, that sort of thing.

Pirates and Prison [edit]

The big ham @ abode in Birmingham

In schoolhouse Ozzy was basically a shy, goofy nobody. Only he did appear in such plays as The Pirates of Penzance, enjoying showing off his deep dimples, quick smile, long hair, and well-formed body. In these engagements we run across his primeval efforts to entertain and concenter female person attention to his ample nethers.

At one betoken John thought his life mission was to be a burglar. Tardily one night he broke into McDonalds and tried to steal dinner. An alarm went off and he panicked, locking himself in the walk-in freezer. The investigating officer, finding Ozzy near frozen and covered in icicles asked him, "what's your name boy?" Poor kid tried to tell him but his oral cavity was frozen close. So he tried to tell him in sign language. The officer, thinking he was reaching for a gun, tasered him.

During the ample spare fourth dimension John Michael suddenly establish he had lots of he decided that he would tattoo the letters O-Z-Z-Y beyond his left knuckles with a sewing needle and some floor cleaner. Clever male child, he would never have the same trouble again. Now if someone asked him his proper noun and he couldn't talk, he'd but show them his knuckles. On that day the Ozzy Osbourne persona was built-in.

Music and Ozzy Osbourne [edit]

Having realized prison house sucks at an early on age, and uninterested in manual labor, John Michael decided to try singing as a career. Banding together with Tony "Baloney" (years later known every bit 'Simply I Ain-i' and pssst...if yous don't like it become fuck yourself) Iommi, William "Neb" Ward, and Terence "Geezer" Butler, the immature renegades of funk gathered as many accordions as they could find and that day formed a signature youth soul band called "Polka Tulk Blues." They all, especially Ozzy (who was a changed human being), knew the old adage:

"A child who plays accordion doesn't pick up a gun"

~Andres "Turco" Gil on www.letspolka.com/

It was 1968. The 4 outfitted themselves with these accordions and as many Crucifixes as they could. They knew the resistance they'd accept to their wild brand of music and this comforted them. Their outset gig was in a Middlesborough Church. Unfortunately the young group had misunderstood the terms "Christian", "Soul" and "Music" to mean "Satanic", "Heavy" and "Shit".

Needless to say they were ex-communicated immediately and the Pope himself was warned of their presence.

"Kill them immediately"

~The Pope on Polka Tulk Dejection

Fortunately the coiffure was able to bounce back from this small setback and began touring the various pubs and clubs at the heart of the Vatican. They dropped the accordions considering they were merely also controversial, instead opting for the more melodic ripping sounds of the atomic number 82 guitar, bass and drums. Ozzy's instrument of course were his lungs. They chosen themselves Earth for a time, since they spent a lot of time inhaling it in drunken oblivion after shows.

On Condign Black Sabbath [edit]

It was at one of these clubs that a stoned MC who didn't know the bands name yelled across the bar "Hey, what the fuck is your bands proper noun," to which they replied on the fly, "Blackness Sabbath." They wanted a unique name and sound - and were quite bored with the name "Earth" - then they picked that name on the spot from a discarded horror moving-picture show flyer lying almost on the ground. "Blackness Sabbath, fucking eh" they all said, in a chorus of agreement. And history was fabricated.

The Showtime Ii Albums [edit]

Younger Years, Ozzy in Blackness Sabbath

Black Sabbath's celebrated first album imaginatively entitled "Black Sabbath" was released on Fri the 13th in February 1970. It featured Ozzy Osbourne on vocals, Tony Iommi on guitar, Geezer Bulter on bass, Nib Ward on drums, the front end of a '69 Ford Torino GT, and a chainsaw (the latter to corking effect). Information technology should be noted that this was recorded simultaneously as a live demo and was non recorded using a multi-track arrangement.

"We're but hither for a curt fourth dimension. Nosotros know that. In three years fourth dimension or even next week, they could be proverb 'Who the hell are Black Sabbath?"

~Ozzy to Andrew Tyler, Disc and Music Echo, 22 January 1972

It was effectually this time that Black Sabbath starting time met a adult female named Sharona Arden. Sharona appealed to Ozzy'south manic nature by bringing him cheeseburgers encrusted with diamonds four times a day. Her bitchy snobbery and signature name dropping (not to mention her daddy's multi-million dollar mansion she invited Ozzy and Iommi to for breakfast) made the band (particularly Ozzy) take annotation.

Black Sabbath's start hit "Black Sabbath" was really about the secretive night life of Sharona. Later reading a very one-time occult book that Ozzy had, Geezer had a dream of a dark effigy at the end of his bed. It scared him half to death. In actuality, it was Sharona, though in his drugged out and drunken state neither he nor the residuum of the band realized it.

"What is this that stands before me? Effigy in black which points at me. Turn effectually quick, and start to run. Find out I'm the chosen i. Oh nooo! "

~Geezers midnight meet every bit documented in a song

A lovely pattern made by a groupie with marijuana

Another famous vocal from this period is "Sweetness Meat," interestingly enough a nickname Sharona had taken to calling Ozzy although they didn't have sexual activity until much subsequently. The cough at the outset is non actually a coughing only in fact Ozzy's dog Wilson farting loudly.

The band moved on to spread heavy metal (or difficult rock as information technology was known in those days) similar a illness through America. It rocked the world.

Onward Hoe

Speaking of disease, the boys soon discovered groupies later on coming to the United States, and LORD weren't they free and like shooting fish in a barrel spirits. They speedily availed themselves of the exceptional beauties that appeared at their doors.

Wilson, passing the time while Ozzy was occupied with a groupie

It would get something similar this: "knock knock"..."ummm, hello...can we do the nasty?" (door closes, sound of grunts and banging headboards). Preachers across the nation screamed they were all going to hell forthwith...while secretly reading of their exploits jealous as all hell.

Ozzy taking a load off in the kitchen

Of course this was before the advent of Aids, hepatitis, syphilis, gonorrhea, the crabs, herpes, or other venereal disease, defined by Wikipedia as:

"...an affliction that has a meaning probability of transmission between humans or animals by means of sexual contact, including vaginal intercourse, oral sex, and anal sexual practice."

~ Wikipedia on Sexually transmitted illness

A vintage photograph from this catamenia shows a naked Ozzy and Geezer with groupies in their kitchen eating hash brownies and popcorn. 2 of the three groupies were eating the boys (not shown).

Paranoid

Their second anthology "Paranoid," released in 1971, fit the bands' mental country at the fourth dimension due to the inhalation of virtually five hundred metric tons of pot in six months, as well as from renewed threats from the Pope.

Interestingly enough, despite their starting time two albums success the band saw very little coin. Director Don Arden (Sharona's daddy) pocketed information technology all to pay for his own drugs and ho'due south, and for Sharona's spending excesses. The band who disrepair the face of music wide open, bringing it on difficult and fast and angry and happening, bent over and took information technology up the tailpipe big time.

Information technology was around this time that Ozzy, somehow resisting Sharona's intense appeal, met and married a pretty little Brit` named Thelma Riley, adopting a son named Elliot Kingsley. Together they had ii children Jessica Starshine Osbourne and Louis John Osbourne.

Cocaine and the Rest of the Albums [edit]

One day in early on 1971, the atomic number 82 singer of a band on the aforementioned ticket every bit Sabbath Leslie East (or was that N?) was hanging out in a hotel after a show cutting up a line of this soft white pulverization on a table in their private lounge. Well, in walked the boys and their faces froze.

Ozzy Osbourne in happier times

They were ready to leave immediately but couldn't figure out a casual and non-nerdy mode to practice so. With a shrug, East offered a fleck to Ozzy. Ozzy took the straw and sniffed 1 niggling tiny line. Quicker than a flash he reached out and grabbed the handbag, inhaling the unabridged contents in one big whoof. Shrieking "I've found the significant of life!" he instantly stuck to the ceiling. The other boys, seeing his amazing powers, were hooked.

Masters of Cocaine, released in 1971 was best known for the rousing ditties ["Children of the Snow"] and Solitude. With regard to Solitude, a debate is on-going as to who is the vocalist: Ozzy or drummer Bill Ward.

"This song makes me desire to fuck my cat."

~A comment regarding the song Solitude by bigpoopie69 (2 days ago), YouTube

Sabbath Encarmine Sabbath and Sabotage

Afterwards awhile the band had a musical block. Some dealer said to try LSD, that information technology would assist open new doors to sound ... so without hesitation each stuck several sheets to their tongues. Within minutes they created the monster metallic album Sabbath Bloody Sabbath. Songs similar "Fluffer Nutter," "Santa Cadaver," and "Spiral Aftereffects" were a few of the hits that resulted. Their next album Demolition was written after the edge of the strychnine wore off and everyone was watching animated cartoons running around the studio.

It was during their bout for the Demolition album that the Tony performed his legendary flute solo from "Pigsty in the Pie" minus the flute, blowing into the microphone instead for ten minutes. This was met with the enraptured, unconditional dedication of his fans in the front row. To this day that solo is nevertheless spoken of with bang-up reverence. As to the rest of the Sabbath fans...95% of them were besides tripping, so to laissez passer the time they watched the tracers from the stage lighting bouncing off Tony's face, grunting approval.

Technical Ecstasy

Technical Ecstasy, released in 1976 contains a hit single "Dirty Women", the song many guys from then until today bless the band for writing every bit it graced them at concerts in the seventy'due south and at Ozzfest nigh recently with women exposing their breasts at the urging of Ozzy (who is uninterested in anyone but Sharona's boobies of course - not so with Geezer, Tony, and Beak ...but in the past, yea verily I say, in the far, far distant past, way dorsum when, ancient history really, like pre-Autumn 1986, well...).

Ozzy's thoughts about Sabbath lasting

In November 1977, while in rehearsal for their next album, and just days before the band was set to enter the studio, Ozzy quit the band. "The terminal Sabbath albums were but very depressing for me", Osbourne said.

"I was drinking like a fish for two years. Information technology was just getting worse and worse, off ane thing and on to another. Finally I nearly ended up an alcoholic."

~1977, Ozzy Osbourne on why he quit Sabbath

When he quit, Ozzy talked to the press of an thought he was having to form his own band, The Blizzard Of Ozz. After experimenting in the studio, he changed his mind and rejoined Sabbath afterwards several months apart. Never Say Die was released in 1978, which critics called "tired and uninspired."

Iommi waiting for Ozzy to awaken that fateful morning

Who Really Was Responsible: The Finish to a Legendary Band

Sabbath was riddled with turmoil effectually this fourth dimension. One night out at a local society Ozzy drank most 46 spectacles of whiskey after snorting coke and dropping a few hits of LSD. Doing his famous frog bound and landing in the lap of the startled but beautiful bar owners daughter, Ozzy got the band kicked out of the bar. Pissed off that his own deep ingestion of ungodly amounts of alcohol was over, Tony scowled fiercely at Ozzy, intensifying the great mirth between Ozzy and Bill as they watched cartoons stitch and downward Tony's trembling bushy moustache. Tony, afraid of beingness thought a wimp, grabbed Ozzy and beat the shit out of him. The next day Ozzy plant a note in his pocket saying "You're fired!"

"To this day i don't know why i was fired. "

~Ozzy on Who was really to blame

Another, far less believable scenario regarding the demise of the ring is secretly whispered most in dorsum corners and alleys. Some say the existent crusade was the dark-green eyed monster. He (Tony Iommi) was (many of usa remember anyhow) enormously jealous of Ozzy's well-formed body, long hair, quick smile, and deep dimples. Mayhap Bill Ward and Geezer Butler shared similar resentments, who knows.

Ozzy was replaced by Superhero and Ex-Rainbow Vocalist and the winner of "The Worlds Shortest and Nearly Long-Winded, Classically Trained Merely Only Not Ozzy Vocalizer" laurels, Ronnie James Dio. An interesting tidbit, Sharona let the disgruntled Ozzy bashing Iommi, Butler, and Ward know how to contact the singer Ronnie but earlier the band got rid of Ozzy.

Solo Career [edit]

"I'll do it again, only I'll do it comfortably. I won't ever let myself be prostituted once more."

~1977, Ozzy discussing a solo career with the press

Like a rescuing angel and definitely without whatever agenda of a sexual or interpersonal nature Sharona met upwards with Ozzy a few months later. Timing is everything. Ozzy was in quite a tizzy thinking his career was over and was drowning himself in drugs, beverage, and pizza. Who came in to his filthy pad simply Sharona, discussing a solo career, leaving unstated the one minor little thing he must do in commutation for her management to establish it.

Ozzy was by then quite paranoid from snorting cocaine for weeks on cease. He was in fact dealing with voices in his head past hiding under the bed. When Sharona suggested he get off his fucking ass and make his own career Ozzy said "I will if you tin get off yours." Anyway, he knew he was saved. The year was 1979. Ozzy went on to write the hit unmarried "My Sharona" immediately following this amazing plow of events.

"Become over here and requite Mama some luvin. "

~Sharona to Ozzy, quite frequently in the old days

"Yes dear. Anything you say dear. "

~Ozzy'south response to Sharona

The Blizzard of Ozz [edit]

Ozzy and Randy when they first met

Blizzard of Ozz was formed for Ozzy's solo gig. Ozzy did vocals, Lee Kerslake drums, Bob Daisley bass, and Randy Rhoads guitar.

Legend has it that Randy Rhoads walked into Ozzy's studio and was merely warming up when Osbourne gave him the job. Apparently Ozzy was immediately enthralled. He was also extremely blitzed, and so he chosen Rhoads back in the side by side day when he was sober to run into if he sounded as good as he remembered. He did ... but was a bit more than hairy then Ozzy had remembered.

He gave him the job with the proviso that he use Nair once a calendar week. Osbourne described Rhoads' playing every bit "God entering my life."

Ozzy stated that he found the other guys "at the handclapping clinic."

Moving straight from his bed into the studio (and from the studio into his bed), Ozzy, with Blizzard of Ozz, recorded 10 songs including hits such every bit "Adieu to Romance", "Crazy Train", "Mr Crowley" and "No Bone Movies." On a side note, some say Sharona looks to have dropped at least 50lbs. Some say it was from all the sex she and Ozzy were having, others argue it was lipo.

In any case, "No Os Movies" is a touching song most Ozzy's struggle with his rebellious manus and shame, revealing the noble nature of the man struggling with the practicality of his decisions. Apparently temptation and masturbation have been a long-term struggle for Ozzy. In an interview he shares a story about his childhood:

"I'm lying on the fucking burrow watching this, thinking, I'grand jacked ...[t]his thing comes to my caput, "Kill your female parent. Become up and kill her – she's evil." I swear to God, I felt myself come off this fucking couch, and I ran, and I ran. I stopped myself running, went direct back through the kitchen, into the bathroom, and masturbated for about four hours. So in the end, I somewhen ended up in the fucking nuthouse. The guy says to me, first question – which was ironical – was, "Practise you masturbate?" I turned to this guy and I says, "Listen, asshole, I'm here for my head, not my cock." Only I've read well-nigh it since...evidently masturbation for guys is a very big sign of insecurity, which I am...very insecure. Within myself. Information technology's true.

Suffering in shame at the tea house

~Jan 1982, Ozzy Osbourne to David Gans regarding masturbation. A story which made David conform his collar in embarrassment, and one which bears an uncanny similarity to a domestic violence incident cited in Sharona's book "Extreme"

In 1980, Blizzard of Ozz was released, along with the piddling known singles Mr. Crowley and Crazy Train. The album and unmarried became instant hits. An embarrassed Sharona was hounded by the printing over Ozzy'south issues. Ozzy, as e'er in no position to fence with Sharona, basically dealt by hiding in shame for a couple of days at a low-central British tea business firm.

Peace Offerings

Later on Blizzard of Ozz was cut Ozzy visited his label. At Sharona's urging he took two white doves for a peace offering into the coming together, to show that he wasn't really an insane, crazy person. Getting straight down to business, Ozzy bit the head off i dove, spit it on the table, then permit the other fly free. As the door shut behind him, the only remaining sound in the room was of people gagging on their barf or hitting the floor in instantaneous recumbent position. The characterization was going to fire him straight away, but they got delayed past their unexpected naps. They admitted that they were also slightly influenced past sales from sold out concerts after news of what he did hit the press. In the finish they didn't burn down him because they really loved Ozzy and didn't want to disappoint the fans.

Bible of a Madman [edit]

In 1981 Ozzy released Bible of a Madman, preferring it over his beginning anthology. Every bit part of his contract Ozzy had to throw 25 pounds of calves livers and pigs intestines at the audience. Sharona had a behemothic hand congenital as part of the huge phase product with a big lever congenital in to launch the cutlets out on an unsuspecting audience.

Bald Ozzy Osbourne fighting off his rabies shots

Ozzy hated it. Afterwards his first show, during the encore Ozzy reluctantly climbed onto the mitt. With fear on his face he rode the gauntlet high above the first couple of rows. Waving at the cheering oversupply, he took a stride dorsum and released the catapult, launching raw meat mainly on the back of his head. In the spirit of things, what meat did brand information technology to the audition was whipped right dorsum at him.

" Sharon, the whole thing'south daft, you lot're making me looked similar a total cunt!""

~Ozzy's scream heard in section ZZ, row 2000 equally he exited the stage

The Crunchy Munchies

The bat, on what happened with Ozzy

On the Bible of a Madman bout (1982), someone threw something flat and blackness on stage. Ozzy of grade, thinking it a taco and having quite a spate of the munchies, picked information technology up and chip into it. To his surprise information technology was a live bat, and the caput he now had in his rima oris fleck him back.

Instinctively swallowing, Ozzy passed out. Randy screamed wildly, running in circles. Rudy Sarzo stood with drool dripping on his toes. A fan yelled "someone to become a doctor." Sharona in her usual businesslike fashion walked onstage, grabbed Ozzy past the hair, and dragged him to the limo for a trip to the hospital. Livid at the need to refund tickets, information technology was a tense ride to say the least.

Ozzy had to become rabies shots everyday, 10 times a day for next half-dozen months. Some say the rabies shots caused Ozzy'due south pilus to fall out. Certainly at the least it caused speculation: the press on one manus wondered if he had cancer, on the other whether rabies ever did get cured and that is why the madman is equally crazy equally he is. Others know because they saw Ozzy when he got into the limo, it was during send to the auto that he'd lost great chunks of his hair.

"Those six months were the nearly painful vi months of my life."

~Ozzy Osbourne, on rear delivery rabies shots

Decease Of Randy Rhoads

On March 20, 1982, Andrew Aycock, the commuter of the Ozzy tour bus stopped for repairs at a Leesburg, Fla repair facility which likewise had a small airstrip. That day Ozzy'southward best friend Randy died while aboard a airplane piloted by Mr. Aycock.

Bawl At The Dog

Sharona told Ozzy that just considering Randy died, his career wasn't over. Ozzy for the first time in his life questioned his wife/managers sanity. His fans, upon learning of this rare lapse, gave him a standing ovation.

In panic, Sharona told Ozzy that they were going to Disney world. Little did Ozzy know, it was a trap. Once Sharona had him dressed and in the car, she whispered in the drivers ear "get usa to this concert venue, and don't fuck around or y'all'll exist my personal assistant for the next ii years." In a cloud of fume big enough to obscure half the urban center, the driver, shuddering, peeled wheels and took them off directly to the venue.

Responding to Ozzy's surprise when they arrived non at the park just at a packed stadium, lying for the first fourth dimension in her life to him Sharona said "permit'due south become see Elton John Daddy!" Ozzy, beingness a friend of Elton, thought "okay, not as fun as Mickey, but still exciting."

When he ran backstage to run into him, Sharona with her significantly heavier weight pushed him out on stage. The ring immediately struck their first chords and as they say, the evidence went on. Dorsum in his element, Ozzy winged it at first. It was on this dark that Ozzy wrote a song with Jake Z. Pee and Rob Paisley that saved his career, Bark at the Domestic dog, a vocal which later on spurred the famous "Bark At The Dog" tour.

Suicide Effort

Ozzy's 6th Suicide Effort

In 1985 Ozzy had had enough. Tired of constant touring, he decided he was going to kill himself. He'd previously tried several times in reaction to the significant trauma'due south he'd faced in his life: getting fired from Black Sabbath ... surviving his best friend Randy Rhoads decease ... waking up daily beside Sharona. This time he was serious.

He decided to snort every bit much coke as possible (virtually 4 tons), and then accident his brains out with a shotgun. Unfortunately he snorted so much Coke that the small cap-gun his son had left lying around looked similar the shotgun he wasn't able to find, so he grabbed it, held it up to his head, and pulled the trigger. Ozzy wet himself so passed out thinking he really did information technology.

Mail Blizzard Era [edit]

The Real Zakk Wylde and The Fake I.

Originally, Zakk Wylde was the ring mechanic and Ozzy'due south personal assistant. While waiting for him to sample some Thai stick he'd brought to him at his studio, Zakk picked i up i of Ozzy's classic guitars and started jamming. Impressed, the omnipresent Sharona decided to streamline operations, firing Jake and replacing him with Zakk.

No Rest for the Sleepless

Zakk's showtime anthology with Ozzy was described past critics as:

" Pure and utter canis familiaris shit, mixed around with sperm and puke."

~ Critics on No Rest for the Sleepless

Ozzy Osbourne during the "Being Sober Sucks" tour (showing a no longer crying Ozzy)

Ozzy said he never remembered writing, recording, or fifty-fifty being on tour when the album was released. Some say that is because he did none of those things. Rumor is that Sharona hired one of the actors from prime time show "Dead Ringers" for the tour, giving Ozzy time off to play with the hairs on his belly-button.

Being Sober Sucks Tour

By 1989 Ozzy was in the worse country in his life. At 41 years one-time he was still waking up beside Sharona. To cope, he was getting drunk and high every day. The 43 pills, two pounds of weed, iii kilo'south of coke, and 5 cases of beer were taking information technology's toll. He farted once while lighting up a doobie and nearly blew upwardly half the neighborhood. The hole information technology left in the basis was used for a congenital-in pool, however, saving the cost of earthworks. A pleased Ozzy grinned, feeling somewhat useful around his domicile for quite a while afterwards.

Cease Fucking Crying

In typical OCD fashion, in 1991 Ozzy decided to go cold turkey sober. Shortly thereafter, into the studio he went, making the anthology "End Fucking Crying." The album sold in Japan every bit "No More Tears," containing two boosted singles "Political party with the Animals" and "Hellraiser." Ozzy fervently claims to this solar day that these songs did NOT IN Whatever WAY betoken a less then sincere dedication to sobriety in his centre. He followed that tour up past announcing his retirement.

Retirement Sucks Because Sharona Needs More than Surgery Bout

In 1995, Sharona'south insisted Ozzy get his ass back on the road and so he could pay for her side by side round of plastic surgery and some redecoration on a new house she had bought. So, with his typical piece of cake-going nature, Ozzy released "Ozzmotesticulosis" to an enraptured fanbase. He divide the airwaves with the classics "I Hear Thunder Hugger-mugger (When Sharona Walks By)," and a remake of Little Orphan Annie'due south hit "Tomorrow."

Fårtin Hagstörm (Meshuggah, left) and Robert Trujillo-Burrito, discussing the width of their burritos

Down to the Eye of the Earth

Ozzy's next release was a hardcore metal album in 2001 featuring Robert Trujillo-Burrito (of electric current Metallica fame) on bass. Titled "Down to the Eye of the Globe," the album features singles "Facing Hell" and "No Piece of cake Fashion Out." These songs seem to express Osbourne'south continued exasperation at being footling more than a boob in the money making machine of his married woman'south spending excesses.

Acid Rain Tour

In September 2005, Ozzy read an commodity on pollution and the effect it was having on the Earth. Then he hit the studio, and in May 2007 released his mega-blockbuster hitting CD "Acrid Rain."

Beyond beginning single "I Don't Wanna Stop Cuz Otherwise I Accept to Sit With Sharona 24:seven," "Acid Rain" too includes the songs "Not Going Away," "Trap Door" and "Thank God for The Omnipotent Dollar." The latter is a song co-written with Wylde, defended to the Plastic Surgery Association of Northern California in hopes that they'll cutting him some slack on his adjacent few bills.

Scream Like A Bowwow

After patiently waiting over a year for Zakk to free his schedule upwards from his important biker conventions and hair flinging, Ozzy decided to bring a new guitarist on board to record a new album and tour. So Gus One thousand boarded the Crazy Railroad train. Looking once too often at Mike Bordin's pilus, he idea "Jesus Christ Sharon, that looks like something the true cat hacked upwardly, get rid of that guy." Sharon, always game for it, fired him on the spot. Blasko recommended Tommy Clufetos because he keeps his hair brushed regularly and tin play the drums and cymbals nicely, then Ozzy hired him.

Ozzy's latest piece of work, inspired past his wife, was originally titled (I'd Rather Have My) Soul Sucked Dry Through A Vacuum Tube. Fans expressed their dissatisfaction with the proper noun past pissing on, called-for, and otherwise desecrating diverse Ozzy memorabilia ~ so rabidly that Ozzy relented, maxim "because of the fashion you lot fuckers have been interim there will exist no fucking bout this year." Two minutes subsequently, however, Ozz forgot what he'd said and headed off to his studio to put finishing touches on his vocals. The album, released in June 2010, marks the end of the Wylde / No More than Squeals era and the beginning of a real band once more for Ozzy.

Let information technology Fucking Lie For Christ Sake, the first song on the CD, is really most Churkball's obsessive compulsive hovering over every sound on the album, which to Ozzy's great annoyance delayed release by fourteen months. Crucify Me and Simply Get it Over With, Will Y'all? was written later hearing what Blabberlips and MetalSux writers say about him all the time. And finally, I Want It More is about an argument Ozzy got into with a fellow shopper while out with Sharona, which she ended by common cold-cocking the other party, thereby taking care of Daddy.

Personal Life [edit]

Children [edit]

Ozzy has three children with his outset wife Thelma (Elliot-adopted, Jessica, & Louis), and three with Sharona (Amy-who often wishes she was adopted, Kelly, & Jack).

Illegitimate Children

An unknown simply much talked about fact is the list of other children sired by the magnificent Ozzy Osbourne.

New Jersey Singer/Histrion Val Emmich

Drawing lines between the dots

Some other inkling: look at that dimpled chin

Starting time there is Val Emmich (b. 1979). Put long hair on the boy and what do you get? A young Ozzy! Honey, hold me back, I'yard gonna rape the human.

So at that place is Ozzy and Michael Jackson (the new and improved white one, not the blackness MJ)! - no doubt where that DNA came from.

Check out the like looks between John Michael (Ozzy) and John Travolta! Happenstance? I call up non.

Finally, there is the uncanny resemblance between the drawing Ozzy and Mickey Mouse(meet opening photograph).

The list is fabricated even longer when you lot consider how often Ozzy left his DNA lying around in the 1960's, 1970'south, 1980's, 1990's, and (with the advent of Viagra) 2000's.

""Walk down the street in any major urban center in the US and y'all'll see footling Ozzies everywhere." "

~A random comment from an Ozzy fan at Ozzfest

Of course this discarded cloth is swiftly gathered upwardly by the mad crowd of women following Ozzy effectually who are in dear with him. It'southward used for artificial insemination (after Autumn 1986, according to Sharona, that is the Just means of connecting with the Ozzman's spermies) by studio techs, groupies, fans, nurses, nannies, random women in hotel lobbies, ferry floozies, tarts in bars, lingerers at the mansion, toll booth operators, neighbors - why, it'due south rumored even the Queen herself and Camilla Parker-Bowles have washed their gathering and prepare some aside for a rainy mean solar day. The perils of being a superstar.

Wives [edit]

Move Along Thelma [edit]

Ozzy was originally married to Thelma and they had kids and everything. Completely unrelated, totally, we swear (seriously, nosotros got this from Sharona's book) his marriage with Thelma broke upwards because of personal problems Ozzy was having. Information technology was definitely not because Sharona convinced him she could make him a star... and kept him on the road so much he never was abode with his wife and children. It was just a minor complication that he was still married.

Ahem. [uncomfortable shuffling of papers, odd silence]. Yes. Moving right along.

Welcome to the Sharona Experience [edit]

Plastic Surgery Affiche Child Sharona Osbourne

Since 1980 (non that anyone was anxious or waiting or annihilation, only roughly the nanosecond the divorce decree was signed into police force) Ozzy has been married to Sharona, whose ticket to fame was Ozzy. She is the daughter and apt pupil of the infamous Brit rock manager "Automobile Gun" Don Arden, former Sabbath manager with a reputation for dangling his rivals by their legs out of fifth story windows. Few know that her hair has been white for at least twenty years now.

Sharona is Hollywood's affiche girl for plastic surgery. She went from fat to thin, hag/dish rag to diva with lipo, breadbasket banding, face/boob/stomach/leg/arm tuck/lifts and didn't glimmer at the half mil spent to do it.

Sharona's Books [edit]

Sharona Osbourne's Autobiography, Farthermost

Sharona'due south books 'Farthermost' and 'Survivor' are basically a calculated bet that people who dearest gossip will dice for a peek into the life of i of history's sexiest and most intriguing rock and curl bad boys. She knows people and what motivates them quite well.

To her credit, she busted her ass to make Ozzy a star and succeeded. Even so, since her ain star has risen on primetime tele, she's definitely gotten in some dibs for things Ozzy did in the past.

After years of continuing by and living with the humiliation of Ozzy's debauchery (which information technology's a minor guess pissed her off royally) and the frustration of non beingness able to end or command his addictions, she finally snapped and gave the public (and her suffering self-esteem) what it wanted. The down and muddy. She put the lethal Arden gloves on and laid her man out common cold honey.

On "The Osbourne's," (to the great entertainment of many frustrated housewives and lesbians) Sharona inexcusably humiliated her husband daily and sought no help for his obvious comatose state. She followed that upwardly in perfect timing past painting him as a perverted, violent deviant in her book "Extreme." Sharona thrives on the fights she provokes on live television receiver when someone other than herself insults her husband. Information technology helps her ratings, and is more than entertaining so picking her olfactory organ.

I is hard pressed to say how their marriage survives today given the lovely portrait of her married man she bequeathed the world. For all you gossip scabs, exist sure (if yous oasis't already) to get the down and dirty of what a perverted vile beast Ozzy is by buying his wife's volume. Get a resale though, you know?

Legacy [edit]

The famous phrase Ozzy is God (not to be confused with Allah) written on the Islington Underground fallopian tube station.

Famous hard rock ring Metallica covered Ozzy Osbourne'due south hit single Principal of Puppies for their popular 3rd album, besides entitled 'Master of Puppies'. In a similar move, grunge band Pearl Jam covered an Ozzy solo album in information technology's entirety as their debut album.

The Osbournes, a documentary about Ozzy's family, was also a vastly unpopular television plan on diverse earth-wide TV channels; except for certain times, such as when Ozzy got stoned on laughing gas at the dentist, or for a cursory period when nobody could figure out what the hell he was saying – and information technology became a popular past-time to figure it out. Also, ratings were up the night where Jack launched one of their picayune dogs off a bean bag chair.

Ozzy Osbourne is also notorious for influencing actually stupid people to snort fire ants.

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Source: https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Ozzy_Osbourne